Unhappy? Move to Finland!

People across America are getting more upset and nervous every day about where life is heading here. What does it take to make a nation happy?

It turns out that Finland may have the answer. The northern European nation has been named the “Happiest Nation on Earth” for the eighth consecutive year, according to the World Population Review. The United States ranked an unhappy 24th place, a new low for Americans in the 13-year history of the poll.

As for our neighbors, Mexico ranks 10th and Canada is 18th. My auld sod of Ireland is 15th.

The unhappiest nation on earth? Afghanistan came in dead last at 149, which seems understandable for that war-torn hellscape.

Happiness rankings are determined by analyzing comprehensive Gallup polling data from 149 countries in six particular categories: gross domestic product per capita, social support, healthy life expectancy, freedom to make your own life choices, generosity of the general population, and perceptions of internal and external corruption levels.

Six of the seven happiest countries are all northern European, so cold weather doesn’t seem to matter as much as you’d think. Denmark, Iceland, Sweden, Netherlands, Costa Rica and Norway round out the top seven.

All of the happiest countries have one thing in common: strong social support systems. Finland provides its 5.7 million residents with free healthcare, free education through college and free childcare, among other benefits. It was the first country in Europe to give all citizens — including women — the right to vote in 1906. Its Nordic-style democratic socialist state has resulted in an advanced economy and high per capita income. Poverty is low.

Finland is egalitarian. For example, traffic tickets are based on the driver’s income. In 2023 a man who drove 20 miles per hour over the speed limit was fined $129,544 because he was chairman of a large financial holding company.

Finland’s crime rate is among the lowest in the world, half that of the United States. CBS News in a report two weeks ago interviewed several Finnish parents who confidently allow their children to play in the park by themselves. Americans won’t allow their kids to go out on the front steps by themselves.

Benefits are high in Finland and so are the taxes because Finns figure you get what you pay for. Finns told CBS News that they think they’re getting their money’s worth from their government and are satisfied with public services. It’s hard to believe you’d get the same response in the USA.

You also don’t see military troops in the streets of Helsinki.

We could probably learn a few things from countries like Finland that strive to make their citizens happy, but that’s unlikely. Maybe we should change MAGA to MAHA — Make America Happy Again.